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Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, Gobble, Gobble
For those of you who do not understand the language of my People, I am saying, "Thank you for allowing me this honor. I think Gabe is doing very good
work, is very smart, is worth every penny he charges and has a really great sense of humor. Now I know other sponsors say this stuff but they're just brown-nosing. I really mean it.
(Okay, Gabe, I did what you asked, now you'd better let my cuz, Tom, go free. I don't care what you have to eat for Passover – a deal's a deal and I did
my part – What, they're still reading this? Ooops, gobble, gobble.)
The management of this Website asks that the reader ignore this last remark from Turkey who obviously did not know what he was saying.
Please continue and pardon the interruption.
Oh, uh, yes, as I was saying, it's a pleasure to be here. I know you think we turkeys only worry about Thanksgiving (what we call Black Thursday) but I
have to tell honestly that my blood pressure goes up around this time of year as well. Do you have any idea how many of my relatives end up as Passover meals?
We're talking tons of bird. And, now you got this Mad Cow and Hoof and Mouth Disease, which is making you, think twice about eating Betsy. And let's face it; there are only so many chickens you can eat. What's left – me or fish! So, I have to be honest – I'm looking over my shoulder-feathers.
Let me enlighten you. I know you think I'm a kosher bird but this is entirely WRONG. The Torah tells all of us that kosher birds must not be birds
of prey. Well, you don't know me very well. Come near my little ones and you'll find me turning into Rambo. I'm packin'. Heck, I go out and shoot deer just for fun. Ever wonder how a hunter could accidentally
shoot himself in his tuckus? Well, that's me. I'm Predator Numero Uno - Number One. Don't mess around with me Fool! I bagged a buffalo just the other day, ripped out its entrails and carried its carcass off to my
nest in the mountains.
The management is sorry to say that it had to cut off Turkey's presentation because it was ridiculous, insulted the intelligence of our audience and was a
complete fabrication of the truth about the kashruth of turkeys. This breach of contract cannot go unpunished (Say goodbye to Tom, Turkey). Turkeys are not predators and are very much kosher birds.
You should feel free to consume as many of these creations of God as your conscious allows. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
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