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The Pomegranate
I'll bet you didn't expect me to show up in the middle of winter. Hah – fooled you! You were looking for me last October, weren't
you? Thought you'd do me in for your Sukkot feast? Why me?
Where the heck did you get the idea it was a Jewish tradition to eat me during Sukkot? I know, I know – it's that seed myth. "Each pomegranate has 613 seeds representing the 613 mitzvot in the Torah." DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THIS???
Look, you want to believe this dribble, go right ahead. But, do yourself a favor, not to mention me, and count the seeds in the next one you
cannibalize.
No way will you even come close to 613. Besides, why do you want to eat something that stains your clothes and has really hard seeds that you have to spit out? Not much longer before Tu b'Shevat and my life's not going to be worth more than a few bucks. I know I'm one of the Seven Species that emblematic of the Land of Israel. So, don't eat your emblem. Have some broccoli, eat some prunes. Heck, you're predators. Go enjoy a good old cow!
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